Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
