My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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