that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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