is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize