he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
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