Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize