you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize