What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
