My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
