genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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