$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Randomize
