maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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