Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize