Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
