You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize