it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
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speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
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I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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