you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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