I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
