i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
