Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize