C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
