Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
