All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
