I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
