You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize