he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize