before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
