i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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