Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bring me that man meat
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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