How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
