He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
