I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
