Don't you send me to vm
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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