My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize