ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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