I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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