PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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