that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
