no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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