AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize