You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
