Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
