She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
