he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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