I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
