they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
