I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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