i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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