no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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