so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
