No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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