At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
