my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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