I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I want to be your penis for a week.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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