I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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