420 ftw
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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