he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
