Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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