I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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