im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
