And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
