Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
