beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
