are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
