I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
